Camp Part 2

Okay so here it part 2 of my summer at camp. I think this one will be more exciting. So I'll get down to it. When I first made the decision to go to camp for the summer. I knew that I wanted to go and not be in debt. Some people know I was living on my own and it was good for awhile, but things seemed to fall apart. I ended up moving back home(as in my parents place) in March which is a long story as to why I did that. But nonetheless I did and as soon as I did I somehow knew that I would be leaving. I mean I knew I wanted to but it was a REAL feeling. Well things just worked out where I got money when I wasn't expecting it, cheques came in the mail from me overpaying my bills somehow and I was able to use that money to pay off other bills, so I was able to start saving up. I quit work in June sometime and first ended up going to Big River for a ladies retreat which was awesome, from there I wen to Saskatoon for 2 weeks which was great as well, and then it was back to camp in Big River.
As I shared in my previous post camp was awesome. I sensed the Lord doing a work in my heart. I knew that it was time to be real and I wanted to make sure at the same time it wasn't just because of "the camp bubble" I wanted my choices to be real. Through the summer I would be emotional, alot of it had to do with my grandpa being sick and in a home and going that long without seeing him. It was other things too like being in fellowship, but most of all I know it was the Lord softening my heart for a deeper desire and relationship with Him.
It wasn't until the last week of camp during teen camp, that I was able to share a burden that I was carrying for years and years. Something that I struggled with and was able to hide from many people, something I was never willing to let go but prayed that I would hate this sin. I know some people will hate this but it's not the kind of thing I want to share in a blog, I mean I want to share it, but it seems to impersonal(is that a word???) in a blog. So forgive me for not being specific. Anyway I was able to come to the point where I was honest with the Lord(which I always was about this thing) and honest with myself and some good friends at camp.
WHY was I being honest. Well here is my big news. I've always wanted to be baptized but because of my unwilling heart to let go of this thing I knew it wouldn't be right. Baptism is something I do not take lightly and I wanted it to be as sincere and real as possible. I wanted that outward action to be as real as the inside change. It was time, sharing was sorta hard but as soon as I was able to share with my good friend Anita it wasn't so bad cause she didn't care, I mean her opinion about my didn't change.
So after telling her about it, and sharing about wanting to be baptized I went to her husband Jason and asked him to be "the head cheeze" in baptizing me and being open and honest with him too. The day I told asked him and this other guy Jeff who is from my home church I went to my cabin that night and as soon as I shut the light I had this fear in me, where I didn't want to open my eyes. Not out of fear of seeing things just my mind getting the better of me, so I was singing songs and praying in my head. The next day I ask people to pray for me and it was a little better the 2nd night. Then the third night I asked my friend Frank to be apart of the baptism too, and a little while later I got this pain in my side which I was thinking was a bladder infection..maybe? I don't know so I just slept at the house(Anita and Jasons) on the couch thinking I just might be getting sick. But I think Anita knew it was something else because before she went to her cabin I told her about my pain and was like "hmm..I think we need to pray"so she did. So I wake up the next morning and the pain is on the other side, then it's in the middle. I talk to nurse Rachel and she was thinking maybe my appendix...who knows. So I was laying on the couch before the cousilors were to start their morning staff devotions and Jason asked me if I was still hurting and I said yes and he asked me something that made more sense, he asked "do you think it's a thorn in your flesh?" I was like hmm...maybe. I thought about it and left to do devotions with the kitchen staff and the counsilors prayed for me against any spiritual attacks that might be manifesting physically.
So after devotions, I go lay down in my cabin and while there I pray against it too, and I was about to sleep when my friend Angee comes in and prays for me too, she knew that it was an attack, and wrote me a very encouraging letter. I remember too my friend Lori praying with me..actually she prayed a couple of times for me through out the week. Anyway after Angee leaves I do have a little snooze..yes the weird pain still there, but I wake up and I go to have a shower and as I'm waking there, it's no longer a pain it's more of an uncomfortable feeling. Eventually yes through prayer it went away later that day, which was the last night of camp(a Thursday).
I wake up Friday feeling sick, only because the day before Jason tells me I should share my testimony or something before the baptism...that made me want to puke cause I hate public speaking. So anway on friday I didn't eat much, I think I had a few bites of a banana. Anyway during chapel I was so overcome with emotion that when we were singing songs that I've been singing for years like "blessed beYour name" I couldn't help but cry tears of joy because of the inside change in me and what the Lord had done in me this summer, and being so thankful and grateful for everything. After chapel when people were getting ready to leave, I went to my cabin to be by myself and pray and talk to the Lord about what to share(which I will post in my next blog) I had to write it down and read off the paper thats the only way I could speak in front of people. Still feeling sick and crying because part of me knew I should share but the other part of me was crying because I was nervous(yes it was that bad) Anyway I did manage to get through it, crying of course and then I was baptized. It was so meant to happen that day...before everything started, there were only a few people down at the beach and someone looked up and there was a rainbow right above us, it looked like a smile(haha, I have a picture of it). So thats my big news. There were a couple of other girls who at the last minute wanted to be baptized too, they're from my hometown. So it was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one who had to share. HAHA! I'm really trying to post pictures but I'm having a hard time. I hope to get them done before I leave tomorrow..or later today(it's way past midnight). HAHA..sorry I thought I would be able to post them at the end of this blog but my computer is being stubborn